


Don't Let Me Be Lonely

by YourGirlThursday



Category: 12 Monkeys (TV)
Genre: Casserole, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-13 20:23:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3395213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourGirlThursday/pseuds/YourGirlThursday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassie was having a bad day until Cole turned up on her doorstep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set prior to The Night Room. The title is from a song by The Band Perry.

                Cole had never understood the word ‘spoil’ until he met Dr. Cassandra Railly. Sure, he had seen fruit that had gone overripe or vegetables that had liquefied. What Cassie did was sort of the same shit. She fed him and took care of him to the point where Cole felt his insides turning to mush. Every time he visited a little more of his anger weakened. It was slowly replaced by a warmth he felt whenever he was in her presence. She took care of him in so many ways, and it made him fall a little harder whenever she did.

                Case in point, Cole was getting all emotional over a damn shampoo bottle. Cassie had bought him his own toiletries to use. In addition, he had his own bedroom that was always made up. There were clothes Cassie had bought for him in the closet. She was making it feel like this was his home too, and that was messing with his head. Still, he would thank her for her being thoughtful and pretend like it was not causing him angst.

                (Also, he would have to ask her what the hell kind of trees this tea tree oil shit in his shampoo was made from. It didn’t smell like any tree Cole had ever seen. And he had spent a lot of time outdoors.)

                As Cole toweled off he saw the bathrobe Cassie had been wearing earlier. It was plain blue and really long, but that didn’t stop Cole from fantasizing about it. When he had shown up earlier, it was all Cassie had on. She had been taking a bubble bath when he knocked on the door. She joked that he saved her from becoming a raisin. Her wrinkled fingers were proof of how long she had been in there.

                (It finally dawned on Cole that he was standing in the exact bathtub where Cassie had been naked less than an hour ago. That thought nearly killed him.)

                Cassie never thought it was weird that Cole enjoyed taking showers at her place. She clearly got that it had nothing to do with being clean. The base he lived on had showers, but they had timers and no hot water. Everyone was limited to one measly minute every other day. Cassie’s shower didn’t have the same stupid limitations. Cole loved turning the water up to a scalding heat and breathing in the steam it caused. It was cold in both of his times so he had spent a longer amount time than normal.

                Cole swore loudly as he stepped out of the steamy bathroom and into his cold bedroom. He put on some clothes that Cassie had bought him. The fact that they were clean and whole was secondary to how pleased Cassie would be if he wore them.

                (Cole would eventually have to stop doing things just to see her smile, but today was not that day.)

                The sound of a woman singing floated out of the kitchen. As Cole neared he realized it was coming from Cassie’s phone. She had been slowly trying to figure out what he liked to listen to. Cassie needed background noise when she was working, but she didn’t want it to annoy her partner. He watched her for a moment as she stirred something at the stovetop. Cassie swayed with the music, humming softly. She stopped twice to take a swig out of an open bottle she had out on the counter. She looked very relaxed in her red pajamas. They were so big that she had rolled the sleeves up to the elbows so she could cook. Cole wondered if the material was as soft as it looked.

                (Then he wondered the same about her skin.)

                “I like this song. She’s got a nice voice,” Cole told her.

                Cassie’s head whipped over her shoulder. She smiled softly at him.

                “It’s Fleetwood Mac. They’re an older band even in my time, but still classic.” Cassie glanced at the black watch she never took off. “You’ve got about five minutes until dinner.”

                “Anything I can do to help?”

                Cassie gestured toward a bowl and some kind of handled cup. “If you could rinse the dishes and throw them in the washer that would be great.”

                Cole agreed. He tried to remember the correct order. Cassie usually heated the water first. Then she rinsed the item. Next she either wet the sponge or added some blue soap then wet the sponge. Cole went for the first option, hoping he was right. The sponge was covered in bubbles and seemed to clean the dishes well, so he figured he didn’t mess up too much. By the time he finished Cassie was ladling something into a bowl for him.

                Cole’s favorite thing about the past (other than Cassie) was the food. Cassie had introduced him to butter chicken, ropa vieja, pizza, and other dishes she loved. Anything with cheese had quickly become Cole’s preference even if his stomach wasn’t used to anything made with milk. Cassie had some sort of magic pills that made it possible for him to eat dairy products without feeling like he had eaten fire.

                (If Cole hadn’t already been in love with Cassie, the magic cheese pills would have done it.)

                “You should probably take a pill. We’re having risotto. It probably won’t be as good as it looks on TV because it’s been a while since I’ve made it. Plus, I didn’t know when you’d be here so the shrimp is frozen, not fresh. Hopefully, it doesn’t suck. And if it does there’s leftover Thai in the fridge.”

                Cole felt his heart do that weird as hell aching thing it did whenever Cassie was nice to him. He had asked about risotto last time they were watching TV. Cassie put cooking shows on when they needed a break from working. Cole wasn’t familiar with a lot of the things they used, but he found himself totally sucked into watching random people cook.

                “It smells great,” Cole assured her.

                Cassie smiled and took another swig from her wine bottle. She offered it to Cole. “It’s been a really long day. There’s not much left and I’m too lazy to clean wineglasses tonight. You don’t mind drinking from the bottle, do you?”

                Cole shrugged. “We do that a lot back home.”

                He got the feeling that Cassie didn’t want to talk about the mission over dinner. In between bites Cole told her stories about all of the alcohol they’d found over the years. A bottle of Jack Daniels in a desk in an abandoned factory. The Hennessy stashed under a floorboard in a home they had taken refuge in for a few days. They actually made alcohol at the base that was strong enough to peel paint off a wall. It burned all the way down, but got the job done. Cassie told her own stories about her adventurous roommate and the drinks they had invented together.

                (He wished she could go back to being that carefree Cassie again.)

                 Dinner was great. It always was when Cassie cooked. The risotto was creamy. Cole had never had shrimp before so that was interesting. It wasn't as satisfying as a burger, but not much was.

                When both the wine and risotto were gone, Cassie cleared the dishes and stacked them in the sink. She went to the cabinet and pulled out a small bag of cookies. She handed one to Cole.

                “It’s a macaroon. Try one.”  

                It amused Cole whenever Cassie did this. She liked to guess things he might enjoy, might not have had before. The cookie in question was a golden brown. It was dense, but chewy in Cole’s mouth.

                “What’s in it? It seems familiar.” He asked around his next bite.

                Cassie took a cookie for herself. “I think it’s just coconut and milk. It’s weird you’ve had coconut before. I wouldn't even know how to open one. Did you ever find coconut rum or something? Find some canned pineapple and have a pina colada?”

                Cole frowned at her teasing. It wasn’t the taste of the cookie, but the smell of it that he recognized. He thought over it some more. He noticed the clock on the microwave and how long he had already been there.

“I know you don’t want to, but we should probably get to work. I’m sorry.”

                Cole was barely able to make eye contact as he apologized. He was out of his chair before Cassie could reply. He felt like such an asshole making her work after the day she’d had. She was right behind him on his way to their makeshift office. Before they reached her clue board, Cassie put her hand around Cole’s wrist to turn him around. She pressed her lips together and toyed with the sleeves of her pajama top. She unrolled them as she started to talk.

                “I’m glad you’re here. I’d had a really bad day and wasn’t looking forward to being alone tonight. You actually made it a lot better.”

                Cassie wrapped her arms around him for a hug. She went to pull away when Cole realized that he should do something. He hitched his left arm around her waist. His right hand found its way to the back of Cassie’s neck. She immediately melted back into his arms. Cole leaned his head down so his forehead could rest along hers.

                (He could’ve stayed like that for hours.)

                It hit him then. The smell of coconut and something else. It was Cassie’s perfume. He’d seen the bottle a dozen times, but never thought anything of it. Before he could stop himself he held his face near the spot where Cassie’s neck met her collarbone. The tip of his nose brushed the skin there. Cassie tightened her hold on him. Her head rolled to the side, giving him better access. Cole moved further up her neck and placed a single kiss along it. He paused to see if Cassie would tell him to stop or go on.

                (He would stop if she asked him to, but he hoped like hell she wouldn’t.)

                All she did was whisper his name, a question in her voice. Cole moved his head so he could look at Cassie’s face. Her cheeks were flushed in a way that they hadn’t been seconds before.

                “ _You_ smell like coconuts,” he explained.

                Cassie laughed. “Do you know how completely –”

                Cole didn’t have time to wonder what Cassie thought he was. She interrupted her own thought by pulling him in for a kiss. It was tentative and a little shaky at first. They almost bumped noses a few times before Cole let Cassie take the lead. She seemed to be content with exploring him slowly. He had no problem letting her set the pace. He was enjoying the feel of her, the taste of her. Her hands were tangled in his hair, while one of Cole’s slid to her mid back. Every gasp and moan out of Cassie was a small victory for Cole.

                They stood there making out for a few moments before Cassie nudged Cole toward the couch. He tripped over the rug and tumbled, taking Cassie with him. They landed in a heap on the couch.

                (And of course like an idiot he had ruined the moment.)

                “Cass, you okay?” Cole asked. He looked toward where she had landed.

                Both of Cassie’s hands were over her face. “Fine.”

                Cole raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”

                “Yeah.” She looked at her watch. “We should probably get back to the clue board. Don’t want to give Dr. Jones a reason to send you to a new partner.”

                (As if Cole would ever let her replace Cassie.)

                Cassie stood up and started to straighten herself out. She fiddled with her glasses and put her hair up. She pulled out some folders and arranged papers on her desk. Cole watched her for a second, her small, delighted smile setting off fireworks in his chest.

                (That smile that was all because of him.)

                “You know, I’m here for a couple of days. If we work really hard for a couple of hours there’s no reason why we can’t take a break.”

                Cassie’s smile widened. “Very logical. How long are we talking?”

                Cole made a face like he was thinking very hard. “Two hours?”

                “I doubt we make it that long,” Cassie snorted as she set a timer .

                (And she was right.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassie liked lists and order, but she was woefully unprepared for this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I bumped the rating up for this chapter. I'm not sure it was entirely warranted, but I'd rather err on the side of caution and round up. This is the closest I've ever come to writing something like this so please don't set your expectations too high. 
> 
> Also, I have a lot of headcanon for the food in Cole's time and how Cassie prepared for Cole's return, clearly.

Cassie had always been good with puzzles. They were a natural part of her job as a virologist. She was given symptoms, patient histories, and case studies as pieces. She sorted them around in lists and charts until she figured out how exactly a virus took ahold of a person’s immune system. Once she understood that vaccines, treatments, and prevention protocols could be developed.

It was hard to turn that kind of hardwiring off in her brain. Cole’s arrival scattered all the pieces of Cassie’s carefully ordered world. In reaction she decided to prepare herself for Cole’s return in two years. She began by studying time travel and understanding how it worked.

(Unfortunately, time travel had not been invented yet so there was no _Time Travelling for Dummies_ she could just pick up from the library.)

There were tons of movies and books that hypothesized how time travel could work. To dip her toes in the water Cassie started with things she had already seen. The _Back to the Future_ trilogy was something she had watched many times before. There were very few things she felt like she needed to take notes on though.

Two things occurred to as she finished her marathon. The first was that she was glad Cole did not reveal that he was her kid or something. It was hard enough to wrap her head around all of these things without adding in a future baby asking for help. Her other revelation was much more helpful: she was going about this all wrong. There were tons of theories about time travel, but she was not the one travelling. It was not as imperative for her to understand that aspect of things. It was not her specialty.

(Damn it, Jim. She was a doctor, not a physicist.)

Cassie shifted her focus to reading more about plagues. She was already an expert in the field, even if it seemed like lifetimes since the last lecture she had delivered. She found journal articles from peer-reviewed journals and first-hand accounts from doctors during ancient plagues. In between these things she watched things like _The Walking Dead_ to get a handle on how society might react to an outbreak. Cole had not mentioned zombies, but the show dealt with human threats as often as undead ones.

(And if there were zombies in the future, then maybe it was better that Cassie died early on.)

By the time Cole met up with her at that hotel, Cassie had stacks and stacks of little notebooks. They were filled with notes and observations she had gleaned from all of her research. She bought two new journals as soon as Cole left her the second time. The first was where she kept the tiny crumbs of information she had collected about the future. It was a mishmash of strange things. Most of it was about food because Cole loved to talk about that.

There were no burgers when Cole lived. They had no Chinese takeout. The food must be bland and entirely devoid of texture. Cole seemed to take a lot of pleasure from the smell, taste, and feel of what he ate. Given Cole’s reaction to steak, it appeared that they charred all meat to prevent disease. His was well done, yet he stilled raved about how easy it was to chew. Wild fruits like strawberries and blueberries were still around though they were a rare treat not a staple.

The most surprising discovery for Cassie was that Cole had never had a beer. Liquor was easy to make and wine got better with age. All of the beer had been raided or gone skunky by the time Cole was a teenager.

Of all the notebooks Cassie had her newest one, the list of things she wanted to introduce Cole to, was the longest. It was hard to wrap her head around the fact that Cole was from the future. Some days it seemed more like he travelled from the past. His life seemed so primitive except for the time machine and bioengineering his body thing. They were so focused on surviving that any semblance of culture had fallen to the wayside.

(Seriously, he lived outside of Philly and had never had a soft pretzel nor watched an Eagles game.)

Cassie knew it was stupid to put so much effort into making Cole feel at home. If they succeeded, then he would wink out of existence, or at least that version of Cole would. The new one would never have to grow up during the plague. He would never know what all he had gone through with Cassie.

His imminent departure did not matter. Cassie liked making him dinner. It had been so long since she had enjoyed cooking. She had been on her own for two years. Some days it seemed like too much of an effort to make most things for one person. A single dish of lasagna could feed Cassie for days. She loved cooking for people and watching them enjoy her food. One night a week she made it a point to cook something complex for Aaron. It was something she also did with her former roommates.

(Aaron was not nearly as helpful with kitchen prep as Eva and Maureen were. Those girls could chop a mean onion.)

Cassie missed more than just cooking during those lonely two years though. She missed having people around. It was hard going through life without anyone to talk with. She had no family, no friends, no boyfriend. Going out seemed to make her feel even lonelier. Finding people to socialize with would just make more problems. She would not be able to explain Cole and the ripple effect his appearance had had on her life.

Things got a lot better for Cassie once she started working again. She started to bond with her coworkers. In between pipetting slides Ana liked to tell crazy stories about her next door neighbors. Margot swapped recipes with Cassie. Javier was quiet, but friendly. Having people to talk to made Cassie feel so much more normal than she had since Haiti. Cole was no longer the only thing holding her together.

The past few days had been awful though. Stores had started putting up Christmas decorations, which just served as a reminder of how alone Cassie was. There was construction that made traffic an absolute nightmare. The weather was slushy and dismal. Javier, along with a quarter of the staff, was out with the flu. Margot had been transferred to a different group to help with their workload. Ana had been reprimanded for talking too much so she was silent as a grave.

(Cassie should’ve known the week was shot to hell when her favorite bra broke, causing the underwire to dig into her all day Monday.)

It was only Wednesday, and Cassie was absolutely exhausted. She had a date with her bathtub, a glass of wine, and the bag of fresh macaroons Margot had stress-baked. Work was starting to make her feel more desolate than she had in months.

Then Cole showed up at the door.

Cassie’s bath had long since gone tepid. At that point she was just trying to put off how cold the rest of her apartment was. Then she stupidly had to put on that blue bathrobe of hers. It was hideously utilitarian, and Cole had seen her in it. Cassie looked like a drowned kitten nestled in that much fabric.

(Not that she cared what Cole thought of her, of course.)

Then they had a nice dinner and talked. It was so normal, so soothing for Cassie. She wanted to keep spinning the night out. His company had been very welcome. Who knew when they would see each other again?

Then the kissing started. When she first touched him, Cassie had thought Cole did not want her to hug him. He seemed so shocked by what was going on. It had embarrassed Cassie at first. She had crossed this line that Cole was not okay with. Then he had responded.

(In all sorts of places, in all kinds of ways.)

Having sex with Cole was something that Cassie had been thinking about a lot lately. He was so intense and focused. It made Cassie wonder what it would be like to be the one holding all of his attention. That kind of single-mindedness and intensity in the bedroom would lead to multiple orgasms and probably the best sex of her life.

Cole’s absolute focus had worked against Cassie the second she set that timer though. He was completely dialed in to the string board. He pored over each document carefully. His eyes never lifted from the papers. With each minute that passed, Cassie was less sure that she had kissed Cole. He seemed so unruffled by it.

It annoyed Cassie that he was able to work so diligently. The more she told herself to stop thinking about kissing Cole, the more she thought about it. He was making her feel desperate and silly. She was the one who suggested that they get to work. If anything Cole should've been the one to feel this off balance.

(At what point could she admit defeat and ask him to make out with her again? Three minutes seemed too short, but she wasn't sure how much more of this she could take.)

Cole rifled through some more of the papers on the desk. He paused to read the entirety of one. Cassie tried not to let her impatience show. It was an uphill battle though. As soon as she stopped tapping her toes, her fingers started to drum against her crossed arms.

"So you think one of these three places is the Night Room?" Cole asked without raising his eyes.

"Yes. It shouldn't take too long to check them out. They're within an hour or so of here." Cassie paused. "Give me a minute to message my boss and coworkers, let them know I can't go in tomorrow."

Cassie typed out a quick text to her boss saying that she had a fever and would probably call out in the morning. She also sent one to Ana and Margot, lying that she had succumb to the office bug. When she looked up Cole was staring at her in that intense way of his. It was cut with something softer though.

"There's nothing to do until tomorrow," Cole stated with a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

(Cassie's heart absolutely did not flutter at that. Her tricuspid valve just got confused and thought it was a butterfly valve for a moment. That’s all.)

Cassie licked her lips and pressed them together. "Nope. You seem to be all up to date."

Cole made his way around the desk like a shot. His hands, insistent yet oh so gentle, tucked themselves around her neck. She tilted her chin so her mouth would meet his with little trouble.

Their last kiss had been languid and soft. Cassie had steered them toward taking their time to explore each other's mouths. This time Cassie let Cole set their pace. He seemed set on devouring her before he could disappear again. Each time Cassie moaned it spurred him on, pressing harder.

(It had become hard to breathe, but Cassie would be damned if she ended things right then. It felt like she _might_ die if they continued, but she definitely would if he stopped.)

At some point his hands had moved to her lower back. They rested on the strip of bare skin between her pants and shirt. Cassie's hands were tangled in the front of Cole's shirt, pulling him further into her. She needed more though. Before she could overthink things she pushed the hem of Cole's shirt up. He quickly caught on and ripped the offending garment up and over his head. Cassie made short work of her own shirt. Cole looked at her in a daze until she tossed her shirt at his chest.

"Bedroom?" Cassie asked breathlessly.

She barely finished the word before Cole grabbed her hand, tugging her toward the stairs. They raced up them, moving equally as quickly. Cassie threw open her door and kissed Cole, pulling him toward the bed. She lay down on the bed, waiting for him. Cole's fingertips trailed across her body leaving goosebumps in their wake. They moved over her bra, under the edge of her pants. They flirted with the lace of her panties.

(She was about five seconds from shoving his hand down her underwear if he didn't hurry the hell up.)

Cole continued to tease Cassie, trailing a line of kisses from her neck down toward her hip. She was enjoying the foreplay, but was really looking forward to the main event. It had been a very long time since she’d slept with someone. A stray thought klaxoned through Cassie's mind, putting a damper on the whole thing.

"Cole, stop. We can't have sex."

Cole stood up like he'd been burned by her words. His chest rose and fell quickly. The resignation and mortification on his face pained Cassie. He thought she was rejecting him, that it had been only a matter of time until she did.

"I'll go to my room," he mumbled.

"Wait, no don't - I just - " Cassie forced herself to look at Cole's face. "I don't have any condoms and I won’t have sex without one."

Cole looked thoughtful for a moment. "Whatever makes you comfortable."

(Cassie could've kissed him for that. She got the feeling he had no idea what a condom was, but that it was important to her and that was enough. No questions asked, no attempt to change her mind.)

"We can still do other things tonight. I’d still like to continue, just no actual sex."

Cole inched closer so his hands rested on Cassie's shoulders. "And by sex you mean…"

"Penis into vagina," Cassie said quickly. She figured the more clinical she sounded, the less chance there was for a misunderstanding. “You can still um use your hands and mouth though.”

(It was irritating how embarrassed she was. Cassie had given sex talks to patients so many times without stumbling over words like this. Hell, she’d had the ‘safe sex’ talk with other partners, and it wasn’t anywhere close to this awkward. She was a grown woman and needed to act like one.)

Cole nodded. “Okay.”

He was hesitant at first, as though ready for Cassie to stop him again. As soon as they were both naked though, Cole returned to his previous level of enthusiasm. A litany of four-letter words fell from Cassie’s lips as Cole touched her, tasted her. Some were sweet like ‘want’ or ‘need.’ Some were filthy and in reaction to some particularly clever move of Cole’s. Some were just gasps of his name.

None were the word she felt bone deep, but couldn’t say just yet.

(She did get to hear it though when Cole drifted off to sleep, sated and worn out. He probably wouldn’t remember saying it in the morning, but Cassie would.)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this particular fic, but I've started a couple of other things I'm working on for Cassie and Cole. I hope you all liked this story. I'm exceedingly nervous about how the mature portions are received. 
> 
> I did borrow Cassie's roommates' names from Center Stage. I couldn't resist sneaking them in. I also couldn't bring myself to delete the awkwardly shoehorned in Star Trek reference. 
> 
> Additionally, I don't know if anyone else likes to crosspost on FFnet, but there's a category for 12 Monkeys now.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I started writing this from Cassie's POV, but Cole made more sense for what was going on.


End file.
